Hospital Stay

I did my very best to avoid visiting a hospital all my life. Luckily I can count the times I've been in one on my one hand. However, the protocol for C-section birth is a guaranteed 2 full days on bed rest and under the care and observation of nurses. My parents insisted they help pay for a private room to make my stay more comfortable. So there we were, in a room on the 4th floor with private bed and bath and window. William was in a small rolling hospital crib, and shawn slept on a bench that acted as a bed.  Every 3 hours there was some sort of visit from a nurse, paediatrician, lactation consultant and or my surgeon to check my incision, to change the sheets, to feed me, to bathe William, to give me medicine, to help with breast feeding. All I can remember is thinking everyone was a monster!!!! keeping me trapped here in this room, and not letting me go home. Shawn left for coffees and smoke breaks, and at one point slept in the car in the parking garage. I was chained to the bed desperate for fresh air. The first time my surgeon Ali came to check on me, I broke down in tears.  "I just want to go home" was all I kept saying. The talk of baby blues were in full effect. I was crying uncontrollably. I didn't understand why floods of tears were running from my eyes, I was overwhelmed with joy and happy, but it felt as if a tap were opened and I could not close the valve. The three of us were squeezed into the hospital bed cuddling trying to get some rest. There were nurses we liked and some that petrified me. I felt judged and incompetent  when 2 pairs of hands were trying to squeeze my nipples to get the liquid gold "collustrum" from my breasts. I was taking a bag full of advil, tylenol, stool softeners, and gas relief. They gave me charts to fill out, documenting what dosage I took, what colour of stool William had, how much and how long he ate etc. They also told me that if his weight did not go up, I would have to stay an extra day. I hated most of my hospital stay at the time, but now in hindsight, those 3 days of special care helped me recover and prepare for life as a competent and healthy mom. The amazing lactation support allowed me to feel confident when I left to keep feeding William. The 3 visits from my surgeon made me feel so special, I considered her a miracle worker and saint for brining my sweet baby into this world. The bed rest helped my body heal and recover immediately. And most importantly, the visits from my closest friends made the experience that much better.